If you saw a man drowning and you could either save him or photograph the event...what kind of film would you use?
How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb? 50. One to change the bulb, and forty-nine to say, "I could have done that!"
First Person : "Is that camera fully automatic?" Second Person : "No. You have to take the film to the chemist!"
I am unspecialized in a very specialized profession. Some commercial clients aren't quite sure how to take me. Some probably think I'm dead because I've been around so long.
Jimmy Olsen: "I didn't have my camera with me." Perry White: "A photographer eats with his camera, a photographer sleeps with his camera!" Lois Lane: "I'm glad I'm a writer."
Stranger: "That is beautiful child you have there."
Mother: "That's nothing. You should see his photograph."
Top ten reasons to date a photographer
1) They work well in the dark
2) They’re used to funny smells
3) They make things develop
4) They work well on many settings
5) They know how to focus
6) They can make big things look small and small things look big
7) They work well from many different angles
8 ) They zoom in and out. And in and out and in and out and in and out...
9) They shoot in many different locations
10) They can find the beauty in anything
John Sheckler, a former photographer for the Standard Times in New Bedford, Massachusetts, said this when asked how many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb. - "Only one. However, it takes two editors and three reporters to decide if the bulb should be turned clockwise or counter clockwise or just shoved in."
When Jack London had his portrait made by the noted San Francisco photographer Arnold Genthe, London began the encounter with effusive praise for the photographic art of his friend and fellow bohemian, Genthe. "you must have a wonderful camera...It must be the best camera in the world...You must show me your camera." Genthe then used his standard studio camera to make what has since become a classic picture of Jack London. When the sitting was finished, Genthe could not contain himself: "I have read your books, Jack, and I think they are important works of art. You must have a wonderful typewriter."
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze. When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him. He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air. The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers take photographs." The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"
A friend of mine who teaches film-making at a well-known school was approached by a noted brain surgeon who asked that he be given a two-week crash course in film-making because of a film he wanted to produce. “Okay,” my friend said, but I won’t charge you for the course if you’ll swap me a two-week course in brain surgery. That’s something I’ve always wanted to do.
Having and camera makes you no more a photographer than having a hammer and some nails makes you a carpenter.
If God had wanted us to photograph with a 2 1/4 by 2 1/4 camera, he would have put eyes on our bellies.